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| Well, i'm currently having the best summer of my life (which seems to be true of every summer, but they just seem to be getting progressively better). i just got back from youth camp number three and this experience was more surreal/unique/amazing than any other. i would tell the whole story, but then i would be typing for a while... all i really want to say is that i laughed really hard this week, and i also walked off stage during worship time at the alter call and seriously considered not going back. there were good times where i connected with some kids and saw the influence that many people have told me God has given me, and there were bad times when i really saw the ugliness of religion. it was, overall, a great experience. one night in particular, when i saw the ugliness of religion and consequently walked off stage i wrote:
"we stand at a distance and stretch out our hand in the most embarrassing attempt to show compassion when our example touched lepers. why?"
if anyone can answer this please tell me.
it is just kind of timely for all of this to happen when one considers the changing of the church today and the disgust of our generation with the church in general. i've been reading the Gospels lately and they not only make me want to change the church but change myself. this is why i get confused when i see christian leaders acting like complete idiots and (seemingly) completely contrary to how Jesus acted.
there is a lot more i could say, but i digress.
life is good. i feel like myself again. i am on the road. i have little money, and no real home.
that is all. | | |
| God, i love this painted place!
still i'm left wondering if i've really seen your face...
is it in the cloudy blue sky,
or in the steel beams and lights
found in the mountains high?
i know that if i ever REALLY saw you
i would surely die,
but these small glimpses still seem fairly accurate. and i love all the thigs i've learned;
all the things for which, the last six months, i've yearned...
but i know i've just started at this school,
this place where you're the wise professor
and i'm a doubting fool.
if You're the master craftsmen
than i'm your dullest tool,
and i'd ask you to reveal to me all truth,
but i simply wouldn't know what to do with it. so now i'm caught up in Your grace.
i'm happy in Your hand to know i'll never be replaced...
and even if i ever was, You'd find me.
if i caught amnesia and lost it all
You'd be faithful to remind me
that even if i'm not sure where i'm headed
You're never leading blindly.
for such unmistakable mercy there could never be a counterfeit. (all these snapshots taken by the lens of my mind are mine to keep,
and placed in a scrapbook labeled: "He's always taken care of me.") | | |
| so i saw transformers last night. it was both an entertaining and educational experience. these are some interesting facts i learned from the movie: 1. if you're a young, hot girl you will inevitably be glistening with just the slightest bit of sweat in every scene. 2. man-made buildings can support the weight of gigantic, highly-advanced robots even when they jump on top of them. 3. if there are five robots walking around in your back yard and destroying everything you probably won't notice. 4. if need be, a teenage boy can outrun a giant robot. overall, i thought the movie was sweet, but there were just some ridiculous things i had to point out. | | |
| if reincarnation were actually possible i would live my life in such a way as to come back as Rich Mullins. 
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| so i preached last night and it was a really great feeling to finally just do it. i mean, this is something that i have (kind of) been in school preparing for about a year and a half now (because everyone knows that the first few semesters at sagu have virtually nothing to do with real classes or real homework) and i finally got to speak. i got to speak into the lives of youth and (hopefully) into the lives of everyone else who was within hearing distance. i preached the gospel! i preached something that (little to my foreknowledge) has been stewing in me for a long time! it was an incredible feeling and definitely something i want to do more often (even tho it still scares me). i know there is still a TON i need to work on in order to be an effective communicator, but you gotta start somewhere, right? i'm slightly glad i have resurrected my humble blog. i know that all of my faithful fans have probably abandoned me at this point, but that's ok. i'll still type for myself and for all of you out there reading and replying or reading and not replying or skipping over my blog to read someone else in your subscription list. before we part ways again my fellow xangwans, i wanted to leave you with this quote i found today on msnbc.com: “I knew before I was even pregnant that I would not circumcise,” said Query, 39, a San Francisco filmmaker whose son was born in 2002. “It’s not like you’re just cutting a piece of paper off a pad — there’s no ‘cut here’ line. It’s not made to be cut off, and I would never, ever do that to my baby.” AMEN, SISTER! | | |
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